It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
