We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
