He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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