I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
