found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize