Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Terrible idea I love it
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
