Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
