I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
