Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
