So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
