Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
