why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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