careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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