I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
