Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
