we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
