C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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