who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
