So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
