i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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