I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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