The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
