how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
