So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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