Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is my gift to your gina
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
