im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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