There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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