im drinking this country out of the recession.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
