You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I touched a dick in church today
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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