you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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