a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
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did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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