this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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