They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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