false alarm. still invincible.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
