If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize