i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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