Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
