I puked a lego.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
