Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I forget how to act sober
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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