So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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