dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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