i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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