dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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