So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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