Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
