Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize