You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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