Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
