I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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