I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
