when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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