Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
barbara walters just said penis...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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