Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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