I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
