I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
