I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
