The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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