I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize