Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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