i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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