So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
